Quiet Confidence

~I wrote this topic about 3 months ago, with every intention to share it, but I guess I had doubts about it. I must admit, this is a little out of my comfort zone!  Anyway, it feels good to open up with such transparency. Guess this is just the beginning. Enjoy!

Keisha J.

Confidence is a character trait I have always had a difficult time with. I never considered myself as one who would be able to walk into a room and be unbothered by another person’s stares or maybe even comments or compliments. I am sure you may be saying, “Who cares about what people think!”. Although that is a valid response, I was often in my own way because of the negative ways I thought about myself, which led me to believe that others thought of me the very same way.

Now, I know my confidence depends on how I view myself and not how others view me. This has caused me to determine what confidence looks like to me. When I ask, “What does confidence look like to you?”, what do you think of? Someone who is slightly snobbish and a know it all. Perhaps, a person who dresses in a manner that displays all of the stylish trends or someone with plenty of friends. Or maybe someone who displays qualities of a leader, who is able to walk in any room with their head held high and just beaming with pride. I believe all of these can be possible examples of confidence, but I often times believe that I do not fit those descriptions. For instance, one day during a discussion, the topic of confidence came up and I was told that I displayed certainty about myself and that no one would think that I had an issue with confidence. Yea right! I definitely wondered what she was looking at because it most certainly was not me! However, as I began to discuss what I thought confidence to be and how I perceived myself when it comes to being confident, I was told for every person, it does not have to look the same and that was when the term “quiet confidence” was born.

Quiet confidence is pretty much what it sounds like. Just because you may be an introvert who prefers to hang in small circles and have a better time at home than out with friends, does not mean you are unsure of yourself (boring…maybe). You can still be funny and charismatic, but have a subtle way of exposing it. If anything, just think of it as hidden gems and these hidden gems have no choice but to expose themselves on their own. Your confidence may not be something conscious to you, but it is apparent at work, with family and friends, and when you present yourself to others. For example, I always refer to myself as Lil Keish. I’m small in stature and I have a small voice to match. However, these are things that people seem to look beyond because my hidden gems seem to reveal themselves and that is what people gravitate towards.

I must admit, these are people who are precious to me. I believe they have been placed in my life for a reason and maybe for a season. They voluntarily express to me what they think about me, which I never ask for. Yet the crazy thing is, they always have something positive to say or participate in random acts of kindness towards me! These moments serve as confirmation that I am who I am and I should own it. There may be times when you become so consumed with what you are doing wrong that you forget to celebrate the things you are doing right and the positive changes you made, big or small, and it takes kind-hearted people to help you realize that you are not the mistakes you made. For me, they serve as little reminders and perhaps catalysts to the “ah ha moments” that reveal to me that I am on the right track and it is okay to have faith in myself.

After all, what would confidence be without faith? If you ever have any doubts about your confidence, always check your faith. It may be quiet, still, and small, but it is faith nonetheless. It may not look the same as someone who commands the room when they walk in, but it always seems to leave a lasting impression and that is what matters most.




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