“I have mostly male friends because I do not get along with other women” or simply “I don’t do women,” are just a few sayings I have often heard from other women about women. Guilty? It’s okay. I must admit, it is really easy to allow those sayings to roll off your tongue, especially if you have been a victim of so-called female friends or sisters betraying you. I definitely know what that feels like, but I will save that for another topic for another week. Despite the few negative women in the world, I have realized in the past few weeks how essential friendship and more importantly, sisterhood is to my life.
Recently, I had dinner with some of my sorority sisters in my area in celebration of our Founders Day. The idea to have dinner as a chapter was something I contemplated because I began to tell myself, “I don’t do women” due to my own experiences with so-called friends and sisters. However, when I saw that other chapter sorors were getting together to celebrate the illustrious day in other cities, it dawned on me to ask sorors to meet for dinner in my area. Now, in the almost eight years that I have been apart of the organization, I never took the initiative to plan for chapter events, specifically after I graduated. But now that I am getting older (I will be 30 in less than three months!!), I am starting to reflect on so much that I have experienced in my twenties and I am realizing that I did not take advantage of all of the opportunities I had in front of me with women of intelligence, wisdom, and a sense of humor all because of…you guessed it, the “I don’t do women” mindset.
For the past year and a half, I have pushed myself to be more open to making friends and giving people a chance, despite negative friendships I had in the past. It has definitely been a challenge, but it has had its rewards. Not only have I met new influential women, I also positioned myself to form a new bond with women and possibly open the door to reestablish friendships and bonds I had before. I am beginning to notice how all things work for their good because my past experiences do not have to dictate my present and certainly not my future. I would be crazy if I continue to ignore women and have a negative connotation about women because of feelings that I possessed over issues that occurred seven years ago, two years ago, or maybe even last week. After all, if we surround ourselves with positive people, we ourselves become more positive, which can lead to new experiences, and those difficult times do not seem as difficult because we are able to confide in others.
Now as for sisterhood, this to me goes beyond any friendship. A sisterhood is very special and is truly an unbreakable bond. With your sister, you go through the unexpected, the roadblocks, the highs, and the lows, but through it all, she is always there. A sister is hard to find, but once you have one or more than one, you should never let them go. I know it may be hard sometimes because of distance, work, family, and overall life experiences, but it is nothing like picking up the phone and knowing that you can just pick up right where you left off, regardless of how many days, weeks, months, or years you last spoke. How can you turn your back on all of that all because of the idea of you do not trust other women?
As for me, it took some time for me to answer the question truthfully. I joined an organization that values sisterhood and that was one of the reasons why I joined, but to end up not being apart of something so great because of my emotional point of view was not my goal. At this point, I am determined to maintain connections (I may be a little slow to start, lol), and to view friendships and sisterhood with a positive perspective. Your friendship and your bond with your sister may be a little different than others and that is okay. If it works, then it works! Do not get discouraged or become so entangled in your negative emotions until you reach a point where you are no longer attached to that special person in your life.
In my opinion, people come and go in our lives for many reasons and can serve their purpose for that time, but a sister, she is someone who is there to stay so cherish those moments and with that I will leave you with a little quote that I believe sums up sisterhood with only a few words: