It is always nice to hear someone you know complimenting you on your beauty, intelligence, and overall, someone who is supportive about the decisions you make in your life, but that is just the thing…it is your life. Why must you always need to hear from someone else how well you are doing or just how special you are? Is it because you do not know how special you are or maybe it is because you think of yourself as less than and need someone else or other people to affirm your actions? After all, affirmations and compliments are not the same thing.
Receiving compliments are, at times, just what you need to get through your day or put a smile on your face, especially when they are unexpected. However when you seek for affirmation, it is as if you live a life of uncertainty about yourself. If you ever feel as if you are hunting for any and every praise and accolade from someone else for what you do or how you present yourself, then I am writing to assure you, you are looking in the wrong place. No one on this earth can give you the confidence, reassurance, or a feeling of happiness like you can give yourself.
As a young woman, I had the experience of looking for all of those things from other people. I needed others to validate that I was making the right decisions or that my appearance was deemed acceptable. Sometimes, I believe we are often caught up in what others think and value their opinions more than our very own, which is a trap that we often fall victim to. However, I had to realize that there was a difference between simply asking for an opinion and seeking validation. If you think about it, people can only offer their opinions about you. How can their opinions be what defines you? We are already aware that all people are not honest, trustworthy, and to be quite frank, have issues of their own. People cannot always assess what you are doing clearly because of their convoluted lives. Instead of always trusting others’ opinions, you may have to do some self-reflecting and ask yourself if you want to base your life and your perception of yourself solely on others’ perspective.
Nonetheless, it is nothing wrong with asking for advice or accepting compliments. Sometimes you need that second opinion or you need to hear something positive about yourself every now and again, but basing your decisions about how you operate in your own life on someone else’s perspective negates the fact that you are a unique individual and that you have been equipped with everything you need to be confident, intelligent, and successful. Even if you currently do not believe this about yourself, give yourself your own compliments, write down what makes you unique, and repeat those to yourself. Think of something about you that you love and something that you want to work on so you will be able to love in the future and continue from there.
You will notice that it is a process, but you end up learning more about yourself and seeking less affirmations from others. Once you are able to seek what you need within yourself, you will not always feel reassured when someone compliments you or seems to be supportive with your decisions because you already know, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.