Broken but Hopeful

Have you ever experienced or been in the midst of very difficult obstacles and had no clue how you were going to overcome them?  I am talking grueling and emotional obstacles that you would think you would only see on television or read in a drama filled novel, basically the unimaginable.  How do you overcome those obstacles and have the courage to continue with your life?  You may be asking yourself the very same question right now in the midst of your own obstacle(s) and you cannot envision a time where you will be courageous or have the strength to fight through your life’s current dilemmas.

I know I have asked those questions to myself so many times.  In life you may face unexpected situations that would literally knock you off of your feet and you are left wondering how to recover from the shocks or you may believe that you have been knocked down by an immovable force…permanently and have no way of getting up.  Once your life collides with that issue, the blow may be swift, continuous, long and drawn out, but most of all, it is painful.  You may never be able to describe the amount or the feeling of the pain, but it may be so powerful that you often think about crawling into the fetal position, closing your eyes, and wishing that it all went away, as if it were a really bad dream.  Unfortunately, it never goes away because it is apart of life.  I believe these are the moments that challenge us to become better, more mature, more secure with who we are, and courageous or these moments could easily make us become bitter, reckless with our actions, insecure, and fearful.

When these obstacles present themselves in my pathway, I often envision a fork in the road, never a dead end.  A dead end is exactly what it sounds like.  You may become stuck there and beginning to think of the worst possible outcomes of your situation.  Never convince yourself that you are at a dead end.  At this moment, it is up to you to decide which way you are going to go.  I am very sure this is the time where your intuition begins to speak to you, however, other voices begin to make themselves present as well.  Voices that remind you that you are not smart enough, beautiful enough, you are helpless, and too weak to endure your challenges and you should just give up.  When these other voices begin to speak up, it is up to you to minimize these voices.  This alone is a challenging process, so I will not go further into it at this time.  However, if you are able to accept that you are in a tough period in your life, but know you are destined for better, that is when your hope begins to play an influential part in your life during this time.

Hope is the desire or the anticipation for something to happen, in these cases the anticipation is for good things to occur.  In my opinion, you should have more than just the desire or the anticipation…you have to believe that it will happen, even if it is hard for you to grasp.  There are so many quotes and affirmations you can find online and on social media, perhaps choosing one specifically for you will help you to begin to believe that your good, your better, and your best is coming.  Even when you are going through the toughest times in your life and you feel broken, smile. Encourage yourself, do what makes you feel happy, and make sure you are in an environment where you will be able to thrive and focus on how to work through your obstacles and envision the end result.  Although, you may not be able to discern exactly what the end may look like for you, you must have hope that it is better than what you are facing at that very moment.

Ultimately, you may feel broken physically, mentally, even spiritually…I can attest to all three, but I can also confirm that you must hold on and even while I type this, I am giving myself the same advice.  Fight through it, even when you feel like you have been beaten down and dismembered. I know I must remain hopeful in the midst of being broken, do you?


Harboring Bitterness

“Bitterness is a result of clinging to negative experiences.  It serves you no good, and closes the door to your future.”- Leon Brown.  Harboring bitterness or even “holding a grudge” is something we easily do and we are often unaware by how it can affect our attitudes, thoughts, and emotions.

Not until recently, I was able to acknowledge and accept that bitterness rested in my heart, which I found to be quite disturbing.  For me, I unconsciously suppressed my feelings of bitterness towards people and situations, but once I was asked to think about bitterness and what has caused me anger and disappointment, all of those feelings flooded my memory and I immediately felt overwhelmed.  At one point, I thought I got rid of all of those negative emotions, however, I was wrong.  Have you ever thought if you were harboring bitterness in your heart?  It could be about past experiences with family, friends, school, work, and of course, intimate relationships.

There will come a time where you will need to reflect on the outcomes of your bitterness.  I found that bitterness hardened my heart, which led to my judgement being clouded, at times, about new people I met throughout my life.  If your thoughts are on this very same path, this can be devastating because you may push away genuine people and miss the opportunity of forming new relationships or having the support you may need to get through the tough moments in your life.  Your attitude may change without you even noticing and negative thoughts can begin to form because you continue to focus on your negative experiences.  However, in order to be on the opposite end of bitterness you will have to decide if you are willing to let go of your bitterness and enter the process of freeing yourself of your anger and disappointment.  From personal experiences, I can assure you that it will not be easy, but there will be times when you will learn more about yourself and good habits start to form, just remember that it is a process.

Once you decide that you are willing to begin the process, focus on the outcome!  For example, imagine the growth you could possibly make within yourself and the chance to experience joy…I am certain that being in a state of joy is more difficult to experience when you have bitterness in your heart.  Also, you may be able to better discern who is genuine and who is not.  This is extremely important when new people enter your life.  I know I often have to remind myself that people come and go like seasons with a specific reason in your life.  It may be for you to learn a lesson or to be that someone that you need as a companion.  Overall, you can never be too sure unless you give someone a chance, but while doing so, there is nothing wrong with being cautious and trusting your intuition.

In my opinion, Leon Brown captured the essence of bitterness by stating, “…it serves you no good, and closes the door to your future”.  Bitterness alters who you are destined to become and causes you to close off the endless (positive) possibilities in your life.  In the end, do not let bitterness be the reason why you are unable to open the door to your future.

Good Soil


A few weeks ago, I briefly discussed Good Soil in my post Digging Up Your Root.  After all, your root is your source, your life supply that feeds you and you must be sure that your life supply comes from an environment that is positive and nourishes you properly so that you are able to produce good fruit and thrive in a world of negativity, trials, and temptations.  However, what exactly is Good Soil?

First, let’s acknowledge that there will always be things around us that we cannot control.  However, we can control our choices, including the routes that we take in our lives.  Sometimes when we come to that fork in the road, we have to make the decision that is best for us, no matter how difficult the decision may be.  This is when having Good Soil is imperative.  It is very difficult to make a decision, which almost always affects your life, when you have negative thoughts, issues with trust, guilt from your past, or any other issue that can easily cloud your judgement.  In bad soil, these issues flow through your mind, body, and spirit, but if you are planted in Good Soil, clarity may be much easier to have in your life. 

For me, Good Soil consists of an environment where positive people exist who uplift me by being a great listener, understanding, and offering advice when I need it most.  It is also a spiritual place where I can express my most inner thoughts, meditate, and have conversations with my spiritual Father.  In order to have Good Soil, you have to be able to listen to your inner self and have an honest heart.  It would be quite difficult to have the nourishment needed for growth, when your heart is hardened from things you have yet to let go or when you involve yourself in other issues that do not pertain to you or not healthy for you.  For example, it is very easy to become distracted with the ordeals of life and never make time to focus on yourself.  You may become trampled over with gossip, finances, taking care of everyone else except for yourself, or being engulfed in a materialistic way of living.  Ultimately, these issues can cover your roots with bad soil and you may find yourself being further away from your true self.

From my experiences, issues such as the ones mentioned above are what hinders us from having an honest heart.  Until recently, I have always struggled with being honest with myself.  Unfortunately, this led me down some very dark paths and I was convinced that I was not going to make it through.  Not only was it decisions I made that distracted me from being honest with myself, but I was also an hinderance.  I often imagined things in my head that made me believe that I was worthless, lonely, and not beautiful.  These thoughts further hardened my heart and dug my roots deeper in bad soil.  At this point I lost control of the things that I could control, while I remained focused on the issues I had no authority in controlling to begin with.

Yet, I am so thankful that I had the choice to either stay there or dig myself out of those situations, which I did (see Digging Up Your Root).  Now that I was free from the bad soil in my life, I decided to make some changes to my environment and I knew it was time to do so because everything began to fall into place.  So if you are ever worried about what to do or where to go, this where your patience and trust will be tested.  If you believe that things will happen for you because it is in your destiny, big or small, then they will.  You have to trust the process because it is a transition from being implanted in bad soil to submerging yourself into Good Soil.  It involves believing in yourself, time and patience, and opening your heart.  Overall if you can do those things you will receive proper nourishment and you will produce good fruit over time.