“Never look back” or “Live with no regrets” are mottos that many people often go by and to be honest, I could never understand people who lived my those mottos. I often looked back at my past and I have lived with more than a few regrets. However, after beginning my journey to discover my purpose, I became aware that I had to let go of my past.
Releasing my past was not a simple task and I am not quite living by the motto, “Live with no regrets”, however, I have learned that I should not look back. Before you continue to read, please visit my previous posts, Chipping Away Your Boulder, Daddy Issues, and Fear as these could be a few topics that could be holding you back from releasing your past because they certainly were for me. Looking back served little purpose for me, especially when I obsessed over the mistakes and unfortunate situations that I, regrettably, were apart of.
When I looked back at my past, I ended up dwelling there and bringing my past to my present. That is one huge mistake I believe that people often do. I know I have done it with friendships, romantic relationships, work, and even judging my own character. Eventually, I ended up being my worst critic. Can you relate to that? Being your worst critic goes along with having a negative mind. Everything I thought of, I related to something negative that I have done in my past or believed that I could not do. I basically talked myself out of trying new things or setting new goals because I focused more on my past experiences and I never embraced the chances I had to start over in the present.
At this point, I had my past held by its’ throat, never wanting to let it go because that was a place where I felt comfortable. It seems crazy, I’m sure. How can I feel comfortable in a past that has caused be so much anger, confusion, doubt, and fear? I continued to constantly focus on all of those emotions that it became how I unconsciously felt presently, even when I did not move forward with taking chances or experiencing something new. So there I was…stagnant. Standing in my own past that I somehow could not release. Unfortunately, I stood there for a very long time, trying to make decisions based on my past, but still remained motionless. I thought using my past experiences would help me make better choices in my present life and for my future, which is true, to an extent. However, I was using my past experiences to hurt me, not help me.
So that was when I decided to let it all go, right? Wrong! I had to realize what I was doing. Fortunately for me, I had someone to share my thoughts with, which I highly recommend, and they helped me come to the conclusion that I was standing and sinking in all of the “mess” from my past, but I had a choice. Of course, I chose to let my past go and I had to do the work of chipping away my boulder, which took a few years (my stuff ran a little deep lol). After doing my work, I still had another decision…hold on to the terrible things as keepsakes, so I would not forget what not to do. No! As I mentioned in Chipping Away Your Boulder, “I could not act as if they did not exist because I would be denying what I went through as my life’s experience”. However, I have been able to move forward without the constant reminder because I no longer dwell in my past. So I say to you, release your past and make new discoveries…and yes it is okay to take a glance at your past, but please, never dwell there.