I believe that every little girl has always been or at least wanted to be a daddy’s girl. To just think of a man that loves you unconditionally, protects you with even his own life, and will always believe that you are the most beautiful person in the entire world is beyond special in any girl’s eyes. However, we all are aware of the statistics of black men not being in the home and how it has a direct affect on children. Unfortunately, I am one of those children who knows how it feels to not have a father in the home.
Before I continue, there are fathers who do their very best with providing for their children and loving their children, even when they are no longer with the mother and I applaud them all and encourage them to continue. You all do not go unnoticed! On the other hand, I am only able to focus on my experiences with my dad, which is an on again and off again relationship.
After speaking to a few women, all around 30 years of age from all walks of life with different “daddy issues”, I was astonished to hear that some of the women who have had their father’s apart of their lives say that they never felt like a daddy’s girl or something was lacking in their relationship with their father. By the end of the conversation, I realized that we had more things in common and I no longer viewed them as “the lucky ones”. One woman discussed how her father was and always had been the provider for the home, but once he came home, he had expectations from his family, and did not always take the time to get to know her, which made her long for a relationship with her father. There was another woman who felt like her dad did not understand her at times, even when they talked almost everyday!
I realized being a daddy’s girl is far more than the hugs and kisses a daughter receives from their dad as well as the meaningful words, I love you. For me, I have always wanted all of those things from my dad on a consistent basis, but more importantly, I wanted to feel protected by him. I know my dad loves me and I’m sure you know that about your father. However, the feeling of being protected means I am being guarded with his life and he loves me just enough to do that. Now, I know it is impossible for my dad to shelter me from all of life’s unexpected circumstances, but he could at least offer some guidance. You know like, “I’ve been there and done that” or “I used to be that type of guy, so do not pursue the relationship”. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way, which many of us often have to and even though this is true for me, I do no blame my dad. I believe he has done and continues to do the best he knows how. Just like we are fighting our own battles, our parents are too.
You would think as you get older, you have things all figured out and life becomes easier. Well I’m beginning to learn that life is about persevering, surviving, and thriving. We all have to do that and in the midst of fighting through life’s dilemmas, we are searching and longing for love and protection from our fathers, at least I know I was, but not anymore. I realized that my dad is very much human and has to go through his own life’s dilemmas and how can I long for him to protect me, when he is trying to persevere through his own struggles. He is and will always be my dad. I still love him and I believe that he loves me too and I will always be open to building a better relationship with him, but there is another Father who can provide unconditional love and protection. And yes, He too believes that you are the most beautiful woman in the world as well because after all, He created you! So even if you are not a daddy’s girl to your biological father, you will forever and will always be a daddy’s girl to your Heavenly Father.