Needing More

Have you ever been labeled as “needy” person? I certainly have and I never thought much of it. I usually associate it with “the only child syndrome” because what child, especially an only child, has not been needy in some capacity! However, as of lately, I thought about the meaning of being “needy” and if there was a difference between being “needy” and “needing more.”

At first, you may believe that there is no difference at all, but I believe the contrary. When I think of someone who is “needy,” I think of a person who demands attention because they cannot function without it. They can often be very emotional and perhaps seem a little unstable and they can sometimes feel like a burden to others. Who wants to be a burden? I know I don’t. After my initial thought, I knew I was not a needy person and to be honest, I became upset with those who said I was. How could they label me as such? I am extremely independent and I am too much of an introvert to demand attention and my life does not end, when I do not get my way. Am I ever upset, of course, but I eventually get over it and move forward because life continues, even if I feel like it has stopped just for a moment.

Unfortunately, I often get hung up on being labeled as needy. I begin to question myself and wonder if I am “doing too much.” I wonder if my expectations are too high or if I am out of line because I am asking too much of something. Is it too much for a phone call? Or is too much to have face to face time when getting to know someone new? Or lastly, is it too much to ask for another person’s presence? Believe it or not, I have been told that all of those things were too much and that I was demanding that it be all about me! Now, I will have to admit, I can be a little selfish and that is something that I have no issue with being called out on and I am working on it. Besides, I do want to be sure to let others know that they matter, extend myself by being present in their lives, and meet some of their needs too.

After some reflecting, I realized that majority of those times involved me expecting something from a person who was unable to fulfill those particular needs from the very beginning….and I knew it. Somehow, I thought building friendships and doing everything that I can for them, would be enough for them to give me what I needed. Yeah, that was a big mistake and it was an even bigger mistake for me to try to force it out of them, hence where the label “needy” came in! There are always signs in a situation that lets you know that it is just not meant for you. Take a step back and analyze the situation. Are you being needy or is that person not available for what you actually need from a friend, a significant other, or even family member?

Whether it’s dating, friendships, or family members, you cannot expect more from people who are not meant to give it you. Do not be labeled as the “needy” one when in fact, all you need is more.

The Desires of Your Heart

It is truly amazing to experience things that you never thought would come to fruition! It is a feeling that will knock you right off of your feet and slap you with an, “I told you so.” All the while, you sit there with a look of disbelief, tears of joy, and/or of relief.

Recently, I experienced all of these emotions…actually, I am still processing everything because I am finally a homeowner! This is a very big step when it comes to “adulting” and I feel every bit of responsibility trickling down, but it is still very exciting. It has truly been a lesson in my life and it has taught me just how powerful thoughts and words can be and most of all, timing. Purchasing a home was something that I have wanted to accomplish for approximately three years and let’s face it, three years seems like forever when you want things at that very moment. However, three years ago, it was clearly not my time. Sure I was upset and I did not understand why I was stuck in a small apartment, instead of a house that I put an offer on, which was accepted! Needless to say, events occurred that forced me to choose to walk away and looking back, I’m glad I did!

However, I never gave up the idea of being a homeowner and I wrote it down in my book of Aspirations, Positive Thoughts, and God’s Word. I made a list, which included a number of things that I desired to accomplish along with being a homeowner. I prayed over my list and I looked over my list to check things off that were accomplished or to remind myself of what my goals were. It felt extremely rewarding to check a goal off and of course, set a new one. The best thing about it was I no longer paid attention to how long it took…talk about progress! In these past three years, I realized that my time table is not always realistic, but it does not mean that I should give up on my desires and you shouldn’t either.

As I mentioned before, I wrote those goals and desires down and I even went as far as to answer why I wanted them to happen for me. If you can answer your why you want things to happen for you, then you are entering a point of being honest with yourself. If you cannot answer your why, then it may mean it’s not your time or maybe it is not for you at all. On the other hand, after writing it down and answering your why, the most amazing part still has to occur and that is being bold enough to put it out there in the atmosphere. Whether you pray about it or just speak it into existence, it has to have a bit of faith behind it. You cannot ask for something you want with an “I think” on the end. You have to ask and claim it as if it has already occurred. Now this is a practice, I still need practice with! However, I can assure you it is real, especially if it all comes from the heart.

Where Have You Been?

Haven’t you heard, I released my first self-published book titled, “The Pieces of My Heart” and it is truly life changing…at least for me anyway! It has been very exciting to see people purchase the book and receive so much feedback on readers’ favorite topics and their eagerness to share with others. This has truly been an amazing experience and it has just begun! On the other hand, I have been neglecting my blog (I know that is bad), but I do not want to neglect any further because after all, this is where it all began! I am preparing myself to write more topics to share with my readers world-wide. I appreciate all of you and I cannot stop now! Check back in the New Year, for the topic, “The Desires of Your Heart.” Have a wonderful holiday and I will see you in 2017!

P.S. In the meantime, follow me on IG @authorkeishaj and Facebook @Author Keisha J.

~Keisha J.

Authorkeishaj.com

unspecified-2

 

 

 

Authorkeishaj.com

Have you visited my new website yet? Authorkeishaj.com not only is a site for my blog, but it also features my very first self-published book titled, The Pieces of My Heart. It is an inspirational book that allows you to reflect, transform, and motivate yourself to begin finding your purpose. It is broken down into situations that I have experienced and learned from…and still learning. You are able to read the full synopsis as well as readers’ reviews on http://www.authorkeishaj.com. You can also check out my new blog post, What Does it Mean to be a Queen?

Read, Share, and Enjoy!

~Keisha J. img_6538

The Day is Finally Here!!

The day is finally here! You are able to preorder The Pieces of My Heart! The first 50 people to preorder will receive signed paperback books and the first 25 people to preorder will also receive a free gift! Go to http://www.authorkeishaj.com and click on the Buy Now button to order your copy today!

*Ebooks will be available to preorder soon! http://ow.ly/i/oiNLV

Synopsis:

Imagine a heart that has been shattered into pieces, broken, and unable to beat due to years of anger, pain, and despair. Biologically, the heart is constructed of four chambers. For my heart, those chambers hold pain, confusion, the inability to forgive, and so many questions of who I am and what my purpose is in life. Struggles with forgiveness, patience, love, and knowing one’s purpose are only a glimpse of what the heart entails. These struggles are powerful and can break your heart into pieces or fuse it together with a strength that can persevere through any challenge that your heart may face.

If you are dealing with issues in your heart and have finally decided to take the first step to pick up and put together its pieces, then you are ready for the journey. Although your heartbeat is what lets you know that you are still living, you can only experience life if your heart is in harmony with your mind, body, and spirit. The Pieces of My Heart wants to offer that connection and allow you to look within yourself to reflect, transform, and self-motivate. My hope is that you may continue your journey and live life the way it was designed just for you. 

Visit the website http://www.authorkeishaj.com to read readers’ reviews and to order your signed paperback book!

It’s finally here! My very own website,

It’s finally here! My very own website, authorkeishaj.com. I am truly proud of myself for creating this for you. Please check it out and don’t forget to subscribe because there will be important news and updates you do not want to miss out on http://ow.ly/YX77304MFCe ! Plus, you will be able to preorder by very first self-published book titled,”The Pieces of My Heart”! Click the link and Read, Share, and Enjoy!
~Keisha J. http://ow.ly/i/nAJIL

Facing Your Fears

Around February of last year, I posted a topic on my blog titled Fear. In it I discussed the idea of living a life where you are consumed with fear, to the point that the fictitious concept begins to take control of your life. After experiencing many bouts of health issues related to my heart, I was too anxious and honestly, paranoid to live.

During that time, my fears were holding me captive and I was too afraid to do everyday things, including driving far away from my home. Instead, I played it safe by being close to home or near a hospital, just in case something were to happen. Now just imagine how I would feel about traveling by plane or any other mode of transportation. Terrified! Just the thought of getting on a plane raised my anxiety level, so I told myself that would be impossible for me. However, I always dreamed of traveling to countries or at the very least going to the West Coast. Meanwhile, I was struggling with making a three and a half hour trip back home to visit family and friends!

I knew the day was going to come when I would have to get on a plane and that day occurred over the weekend. I had to go Georgia for a wedding, which I was not going to miss for the world. However, when I booked the ticket, something came over me. All of those feelings and past experiences tried to flood my memory, but I did not allow them to. Once it was time to go to the airport, it happened again, except this time my heart felt like it was racing (it wasn’t though) and my palms began to sweat. When I was finally seated I could not sit still. I kept fidgeting with my headphones, my purse, and I think I had to take a couple of deep breaths. Then I looked around at everyone else and I noticed how calm they were and I suddenly wanted to be like them. Calm.

After some time I was able to talk myself down and I began to think that God has me. I knew I was going to be at the wedding so nothing was going to happen. Although unexpected incidences occur, something just told me “Not today”. Eventually, I was able to calm myself down and coincidentally, we were about to land! However, I was able to make the process a lot smoother on my return flight. If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, my fear (one of a few) does not apply you, that is okay because this is definitely not about a plane ride. This is about an example of me making the decision to face my fear and say, “Not today”.

Your fear may be of heights, public speaking, living alone, or just stepping out on faith with something new. You can’t allow your fear to take over no matter how scary it may feel. The enemy wants you to become so afraid that you will be unable to reach your highest potential, which includes living in your purpose. Although traveling may be a small matter, I have to think that it is only apart of something bigger. What if my dream job is in California or an opportunity of a lifetime is presented to me where I will have to visit another country? It may seem far-fetched, but nothing is ever unthinkable when it comes to faith. With faith you are able to move forward even if uncertainties try to hold you back. In the end, it is best to face your fears, whatever they may be and remind yourself that your fears will not be able to control your today.